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Don't abuse your alcohol by spilling it.

Don't play with "MQQSE'S" (sh*t)!

Still have one ugly, bow legged, brown eared, moose wanna-be for sale. Price not an issue. Please call as soon as possible, I'm coming down in November and would like this Majestic Creature off the island before I come down, please.
Phone 1-800-1MO-OOSE

DEB----
ARE YOU

ANTI-RACIAL
ANTI-SOCIAL

AS WELL AS

ANTI-MQQSE
??????????????

Best we clarify the "Quarantine" time on Moose when transporting across borders. Any guesses?

BOUT THE SAME AS FLEAS MITES LOUSE AND JIGGERS

DUH, WHAT WOULD POSSIBLY GIVE YOU THAT IDEA?
JUST HAVING SOME FUN AT A DUMB MOOSE'S EXPENSE I'D SAY.

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AN OVER ABUNDANCE OF PHONE CALLS YET! :p

(i am still cracking up at 'dont run with scissors'!)

dont forget, wait 30 minutes after eating to swim

And don't run around the pool or [#%!] into the wind.......C.............P.S. or eat Moose....

Or [#%!] in the pool.

And we can't forget.......
Don't eat yellow snow.