AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Joke Thread

I vaguely remember the post (something about where such and such picture was taken), but it was not directed towards me. I am guessing that you have me confused with another board member...maybe Chris?

In any case, your post might have been deleted (or more likely the whole thread was deleted). It happens...

Thanks guys - I think I've got it!

Unless things have changed, and I'm sure MArty will jump in here if need be, you cannot post an image on the board directly. It must reside on a server somewhere. So if you have an image solely on your hard drive, you cannot post it, at least on this board.

By trial and error, I've discovered that seems to be the case. The imageshack site seems to works well as a host - makes for easy cut/paste of the image.

Also - major hijack

hijacking is a joke, so it fits

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be willing and able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Well, they are obviously Alaskan reindeer statistics. The North Pole isn't in Alaska, so therefore the stats don't apply. At the North Pole the males keep their antlers all year long.

Man, hijackers are lazy and irritating. But they're a part of life on a BB, I suppose.

Here:

A Modern Romance

Johnny asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"

DAD SAYS: Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on AOL.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload,
we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since
it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed
little Popup appeared and said

"You've Got Male"

Raising Boys--


a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough
to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four
walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a
ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get a
hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year
old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much J ell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk
on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
kids

Cute - I'm sure you're on the way to redeeming yourself