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Ya got no argument from me there, Bob. Sufficient stupidity all around! Personally, I'm not convinced there's much difference between the 2 parties these days - just their rhetoric.
My mom has always been frustrated that I don't follow all her advice.

Agreed, lets jump out of a airplane! Mom says yes!

I luck out again! I told ya I don't generally follow mom's advice. Want me to hold your wallet?

I'll see you at BB in February. First drinks on me. And yes, you are the designated wallet holder. Jump day determined by Mr. Reaper

Deal! Looks like I'm there the first weekend - Friday through Monday.

Subject: Why we broke up

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore.
And, I'd have to quit drinking it.
Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up.
And, I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't?
She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.

LITTLE-KNOWN MARITIME FACTS (or why education is important!)

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better ones."

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4 If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

6 A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans
(William age 7)

9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

NEW VIRUS

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest bar. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be .

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes.

He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to
my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But
the old Chief insisted and they
decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a
medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he
did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie
and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your
testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."

I guess I must be humor impaired on that one.