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Sad news........

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which
almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
into the coffin.

They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

Shut up. You know it's funny.

that poor guy must have died 50 times in the past 10 years!

then he turned himself around.

that's what it's all about.

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat......He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on." She did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them." I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here try these on." She did and said, "These are too large, they don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike and said, "Here, you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will."

Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand
pulling a male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.

The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
turns, and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun,
causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere,
then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand pulling
another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter,
"Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says,
"Training for position in United States Congress.
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
leave mess for others to clean up,
disappear for rest of day."

Don't know if this link will work, but check it out and see...

http://www.dump.com/links.php?link=1329588&a=1&b=1&c=2&o=popular&p=1&r=all

oh geez.... that was hilarious...

Sick, eh?! I didn't know what to expect when I started to watch it (with one eye closed, just in case...)

(A repeat for some, but it bears reminding...!)

The Dangers of Beer ..... Men, please heed this warning!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up Golf Courses" in the phone book.