Dr. Love

El Doctor Amor

Dr. Love is the island's greatest authority on just about everything. Dr. Love answers questions about love, life, relationships, and various other things that people just don't get. The doctor does not address questions about politics or religious issues.

You may write to the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro Town, Belize, fax 026-2905 or E-mail at sanpdrosun@btl.net.

Dear Dr. Love,
I noticed in last week's paper (it took only a week to arrive in Connecticut this time) that a certain local airline will be providing an in-flight magazine. Given that most flights don't last more than 25 minutes, I wonder if they will provide a speed reading course, too. And another question; How did that man cause a bicycle to be going the wrong way on a one-way street? Remote control?
/s/ Wingding Wilma

Dear Wilma,
There are magazines and then there are magazines. The Doctor can read everything worthwhile in a People magazine in less than three minutes. It takes another two minutes to look at the pictures. Time, U.S. News and World Report, and Forbes magazine take about two minutes to look at the pictures and a full minute to read the newsworthy parts. On the other hand, Playgirl and Playboy deserve closer scrutiny. People who purchase these magazines usually do so for the quality of the articles. People who purchase the other magazines do so because it makes them feel like they are in the information loop. The Doctor is certain that the airline magazine will be quick and worthwhile reading. Hopefully, it will have a lot of pictures, too.

My good Doctor,
I've noticed recently a number of Belize-flagged ships in the news involved in heavy poaching. For example, bonds of $1.5 million were posted and lost for the owners of the Belizean flagged "Salvore" and $50,000 in personal fines imposed on officers after they were found guilty of illegal fishing in the West Australian District Court recently.
Best Regards,
/s/ The Fish Afficionado

Dear Fish,
Now you, the Doctor and everyone else knows why the Belizean flag is
used on suspect vessels with suspect owners. It rhymes with honey, funny,
and bunny and unlike love, it is what really makes the world go around.
On the other hand, the Doctor has noticed that a number of cars in the
U.S. bearing Texas license plates have been robbing convenience stores in
the state of Louisiana. Should we ask how the great state of Texas can
allow it's name to be sullied by licensing cars to criminals? You may not
like it, but it is still the same principle. Is Liberia the country shipping all of those drugs from Columbia to the U.S.?

Dear Doctor Love,
My sister and I are both involved with married men who have promised to leave their wives and families. I am beginning to think that neither of
them ever will. A few months ago, my sister's boyfriend made a pass at me
and it shocked me so much that I didn't even try to discourage him. When he
kissed me I found that it was impossible to resist him. Now I am in serious trouble. I am pretty sure that I am pregnant and I don't know who the
father is. It could be either my boyfriend or my sister's boyfriend and
both of them are married. Should I tell my sister? What will I tell my
boyfriend? Is there any way out of this mess?
/s/ Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,
I doubt it. The first thing to do is find out whether or not you are
really pregnant. Heed the Doctor; there is absolutely no future in seeing a married man. A woman either, for that matter. No matter what they tell you, they are not going to leave the spouse for the lover. If you are pregnant, you can approach each man individually and tell them that they are possibly the father. This will probably do no good at all since neither will
immediately assume that it is his child. You will be admitting to your
boyfriend that you were unfaithful and to the other one that you are seeing
someone else. You may just have to wait and see who the child looks like
when it grows up.

Dear Doctor Love,
There is a lot of controversy in town about the re-building of docks
after Hurricane Mitch. The town board says that no docks will be re-built
without certain restrictions and the dive shop and boat owners say they
cannot live with the restrictions.
The town board has a terrific point because the dock posts do cause
erosion. Boat and dive shop owners have a point because they have to make a living. Instead of sinking dock pilings, why not tether some barges at the end of the streets where the town board needs a dock. Then use floating docks on pontoons to reach the barges. Tours and ferry boats can take off from
the barges and three or four of them, adequately spaced, should serve the
downtown area well. The barges can be anchored permanently to pylons that will not cause erosion. In case of a storm, both the barges and pontoons
can be moved to safety.
/s/ Peacemaker

Dear Peacemaker,
This sounds so good that there must be a fatal flaw in it somewhere.

Dear Dr. Love,
We have a rooster but his three hens have all died. Ever since they
died he has become very mean and always tries to spur anyone who comes
around. Please ask your readers if they have a spare hen. It would make our
rooster very happy.
/s/ Henless

Dear Henless,

Dr. Love

Copyright San Pedro Sun. Design by Casado Internet Group

San Pedro Town, Ambergris Caye, Belize News