Dr. Love is the island's and possibly the world's greatest authority on just
about everything. The Doctor answers questions on just about everything
except religion and politics. Persons needing additional assistance or
counseling should contact the Family Services Division at 02-77451.
You may write to the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro Town, Belize, fax
026-2905 or e-mail at email@example.com
Dear Doctor Love,
Have you been in the Island Supermarket Store lately? They have had the
ground in front of the store torn up for two weeks while they put in bricks
over the street. The inconvenience is worth it. The street is starting to
look terrific and it will never be muddy and filled with potholes. I think
that Coconut Drive should be paved with these blocks all the way from the
grammar school to Island Supermarket. Who would I go to with a suggestion
You must have missed the June 17th edition of the San Pedro Sun. The
Mayor and Deputy Mayor told the San Pedro Sun that they are working with the
Ministry of Works on a solution and that $!00,000 has been allocated for
small projects which the Town Board decided should go towards repairing the
streets. A surveyor has already been to the island and two of the options
being looked into are using gravel or cobblestones along with installing
drainage ditches. The Doctor agrees with you that the paving stones are
attractive and make a wonderful alternative to asphalt or mud. The only snag
might be if it costs too much and the Town Board cannot afford the extra
money needed. Remember that things move slowly in Belize, so you still might
want to voice your concern to the Town Board.
Dear Dr. Love,
Hey did you hear about the new soup kitchen in town! Yes it's a very
simple concept, it all works on donations. The great thing about it is, you
don't even know your donating until after your food is gone!
It's very simple: go to the restaurant of your choice, order something
you're really, really hungry for, put it in your golf cart and head home.
Now here's the way to donate: stop at a friends, get out, go in, visit for a
while and VOILA! You've just made your first donation.
It was so easy, that's how it worked for us. Oh, just a reminder to
those who take from one whose been taken - next time you may not feel so
well after dinner.
/s/All Souped Out
You sound bitter. The Doctor is not certain where you are from but let's
assume you are from New York City. Would you drive a convertible into the
heart of the Bronx and park it with packages on the seat? If you were from
Los Angeles, would you park a convertible anywhere in East L.A. and leave a
package in it? How about the South side of Chicago or the Overtown section
of Miami? Of course not. Not only would the package be gone but the car
would have been stolen or stripped down to the frame. This is the United
States we are talking about here, not some Third World country like . . .oh,
say like Belize. Of course stealing is wrong. Moses only bought Ten
Commandments down from Mount Sinai. We are familiar with the ones about
stealing, killing, adultery and so forth. The Eleventh Commandment is
implied in the first ten. "Thou shalt not do dumb things and if thou doest,
thou shall accept the blame." One other thing the Doctor wants to mention.
Have you considered that a dog might have taken your food? How about a
raccoon? There are dogs on this island that can pick combination locks to
get to food and they are only half as smart as the raccoons.
What is up with all of these church groups that come down here in the
summer? We just had one last week and now another group has arrived. Don't
we have enough churches here already?
/s/ Devout Heathen
Nope. Our philosophy here is that you can never have too many bars or
churches. They keep each other in business. The bars provide the sin and the
churches do the saving. Then the cycle starts all over again.
I can't understand people on this island when they speak Creole to me.
What kind of language is this and why do they use it when this is supposed
to be an English-speaking country? Is there a dictionary of Creole that I
can buy so I can understand what these people are saying?
You can buy a dictionary of any language but you cannot usually buy one
for a dialect. According to the encyclopedia, Creole is a dialect originally
developed as a means of communication between slaves. Creole dialect is the
form of language that develops when speakers of mutually unintelligible
languages remain in persistent and long-lasting contact with each other,
with one of the contributing languages typically dominant. Jamaican Creole
is similar to the American Creole dialect of Louisiana, where elements of
African languages are mixed with Spanish, French and English, with English
as the dominant language. In the islands off the coast of South Carolina and
Georgia in the U.S., the Creole dialect is slightly different and is called
gullah or geechee. In Belize, the Creole dialect is a mixture of African
languages, Spanish, English and even some Maya words. There are several
stores in Belize City that carry a book with English phrases and the way to
pronounce them in Creole.
Dear Doctor Love,
I met a guy in a bar here the other night who lives here and seems to be
a secret agent of some sort. He did not actually say he was a secret agent
but he hinted around about the kind of traveling he has to do and the people
that he has to report to. I finally came to the conclusion that he is just a
drunk. He says everyone calls him _ __ and for his cover he ___ ___. Do you
know this person? Is he for real?
/s/ Not Impressed
Dear Not Impressed,
Everybody on this island knows him. Your instincts are right. He is just
a harmless drunk who has a loose screw. Alcohol acts on the screw just like
WD-40 on a rusty bolt. The more alcohol, the looser that screw gets.
Last week you said that the four-story building would go up and there is
nothing that anyone can do to stop it. In the same issue of the paper an
article said that the owners had decided not to add the fourth story. So you
were wrong. Right?
/s/ Faithful Reader
Yes and no. The only ones who could stop the building of the fourth
story were the building's owners and they are the ones who stopped it. The
Town Board did not. The Central Government did not. The police did not. They
stopped it in response to public pressure and only because enough people
showed concern in a public meeting. The shame of Belize is that this
situation is typical, not something unusual.
Dear Dr. Love,
My children want to go visit with their father for six weeks this
summer. The father lives in the U.S and the children have U.S. passports but
I have custody of the children in Belize. He has visitation rights and if I
want to, I can force him to come here for a visit instead of sending the
children to see him. We had a very bitter divorce and he tried to get
custody of them and I am worried that he might try to keep them there
instead of sending them back after six weeks. I do not have a lot of money
and I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to afford to go the U.S. to get them
back if he tries to pull something funny. Do you think it is safe to send
It should be all right to send them. Before they travel, go to the U.S.
Embassy in Belize City and explain the situation to them. Make sure that the
consul has all of the details of the children's travel plans and make sure
that your husband is aware of all of this. You should have nothing to worry
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