this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be .

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes.

He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to
my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But
the old Chief insisted and they
decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a
medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he
did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie
and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your
testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."

Can't find my plane...