From the Heartland, early in the morn'...

1. Do you know how to use a whip? Yes. In multiple disciplines.

2. When was the last time you thoroughly cleaned your bathroom? 1975.

3. If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred? One, then the other.

4. Do you bruise easily? Not physically.

5. If I'm hurling, will you hold my hair out of the way for me? No.

6. If I needed help disposing of a body, could I count on you? As long as it's not my own.

7. What law would you break if you knew you wouldn't be caught? Libel. Or maybe slander.

8. When you step out of the shower, what body part gets dried first? My head. That's all I'm saying.

9. Can I look in your wallet? Sure, but I don't want to discuss your impressions.

10. In a social setting which best describes you: Introvert, extrovert, or pervert? See number 3.


And a couple of optional questions, to be used depending on the appropriateness:

If I asked to pet your monkey, what body part would you offer to me? My monkey, obviously.

Do you still live with your mother? On the advice of (cheap) counsel, I'll take the Fifth on that one.

That was easy, I think. What's my score?

* I Go Pogo *