Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse,
his wife, his daughter and two sons are all gathered at his bedside
with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder to
be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."

"My daughter, Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."

"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the city Center
."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the
banks of the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away by his extensive holdings. As
Doug slips away, the nurse says:

"Mrs Smith, your husband must have been a very hard working man to
have accumulated so much property."

Sarah replies, "Property? ..... the asshole had a paper route."


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol