Puns for Educated Minds??
1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table
was
Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.
I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3.
She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her
still.
4.
A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra
class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5.
No matter how much you push the
envelope,
It'll still be stationery.
6.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was
cited for littering.
7.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.
8.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a
tie.
9.
A hole has been found in the nudist-camp
wall.
The police are looking into it.
10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.
11.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other:
'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then
it hit me.
14.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
said:
'Keep off the Grass.'
15.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.
16.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.
17.
A backward poet writes inverse.
18.
In a democracy it's your vote that
counts.
In feudalism it's your count that
votes.
19.
When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion.
20.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris,
You'd be in Seine.
21.
A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an
airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.'
22.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says,
'Dam!'
23.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my
electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm
positive.'
25.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
26.
There was the person who
sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would
make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
AmbergrisCaye.com 
