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Bad, bad Forest Ranger

Lookout!!!

WARNING LOCK ALL OF YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS TONIGHT. The police have found a dead man in his bathtub filled with milk, sugar and cornflakes with a banana sticking out of his ass..They suspect a cereal killer!

That reminds me...Two Peanuts were walking down the street... one was assaulted....

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

Had enuf ????

NO, keep'em coming.

ok- last one-

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

G'Night all....

Overheard in a small gathering at a pub...

A man asks: What's the difference between your wife and your girlfriend?

Answer: 60 pounds!

A woman counters with: What's the difference between your husband and your boyfriend?

Answer: 60 minutes!

A guy dies and goes to hell, when he gets there he meets the devil standing in front of three doors, the devil imforms him that he has to pick his own hell, so which will it be, door 1, door 2, or door 3. The guy asks if it is possible to take a quick look behind the doors before he comitts to any of them. The devil agrees so he takes a look behind door 1, well there were thousands of people wailing and crying being whipped and abused by nasty looking creatures, he then looks behind door 2 and sees thousands of people burning in fire, finally he takes a look behind door 3 and much to his surprise sees hundreds of people up to there waists in shit drinking coffee. He decides right away that this is a hell that he can stand so chooses door #3. He just gets settled into the shit and a waiter brings him his coffee when a loud siren sounds and a loud deep voice says ok coffee break is over everyone back on there heads.