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Papa dear, you are CANADIAN???!!

Well of course! Canadians have the greatest senses of humour in the world!!!

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding.

The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good-bye.

Have a nice day and be careful with your donkey.

Jesse, great read, and surely is a lesson for living.

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called, "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee".

LMAO...OMG...that made my evening..

Thanks Jesse

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a 4-hour operation. A
young nurse appears in his room to sponge his hands and feet.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands
and feet."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other hand, takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them!"

The man removes his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was really nice, but listen very, very closely, "Are...my...test...results...back?"

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis
Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis:
> A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole

Nygal, great fun.