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but they didn't have paper back then to write it down on OWO

thanks for that oldy, Jesse, and I had never heard it, must have had my head buried in a mole hill. I borrowed it, thank you very much

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and asked, "If i gave u this money, will u take it and buy whiskey?"

"No, i stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.

"Will you use it to gamble?"

"I don't gamble. i need everything i can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend the money on greens fees at the golf course?"

"Are you NUTS! i haven't played golf in 20 years!"

The man said, "well, i'm not going to give u two dollars, instead, i'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The bum was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know i'm dirty, and i probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "That's OK. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling and golf."

Catholic Parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. "Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the
cage with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,

"Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!"

Excellent, Jesse! Keep'm comin!

IN 1886 A politician from DC went out to the indian reservation to speak to the local tribe. The Chief introduced him, and all the indians started shouting"OOM GALLA GALLA"! The politician smiled and introduced his plans for the reservation. New housing, more jobs and better health care. After each statement the indians shouted "OOM GALLA GALLA!!", louder and louder! The Senator was quite pleased with the reception the indians gave him with their robust chants. As the senator stepped down from the make shift stage in the middle of the pasture after his speech the indian chief said "Be carefull and don't step in any OOM GALLA GALLA!

How Golf is like Urinating in a Public Restroom

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.

International thinking at its best!

Question: What is the truest definition og globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana"s death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian Boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey,[check the bottle before you change the spelling] followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American, [Canadian] using Bill Gates technology, and you are probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexicans. That my friends is Globalization...

All organized and plotted by a Russian(read that in the Enquirer)!