AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Thurs. Funny!

Two blondes walk into a building-------you'd think one of them would see it.

Some newspaper headlines or article headlines:

* Crack Found on Governor's Daughter.
* Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms!
* Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
* Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
* Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
* Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
* War Dims Hope for Peace.
* If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
* Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
* Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
* Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
* Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
* Police Chief says "when we find prostitutes on our streets, we stay on top of them".

LOANSUM

(cleaning up the desk and chair now )

Dang.....even my dog got that one.

An elderly couple was?sitting together, watching their favorite Saturday night TV program.
During one of those commercial breaks, the husband asked his wife:
"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"
After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied:
"You know, I don't really know -- I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year."

Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Pedro looked up again and
said "Never mind. I found one!"

That is TOO cute. I love it !!!

I love the parking spot one!

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Fairmont Park in Philly when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twists it breaking the dog's neck and saving his friend.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Eagles Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.


"But I'm not a Eagles fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Philadelphia I just assumed you were," said
the reporter and he starts writing again. "Flyers Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack."

"I'm not a Flyers fan either," the boy said.

"Oh, I assumed everyone in Philadelphia was either for the Eagles or
the Flyers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard From Dallas Kills Beloved Family Pet."