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Original 'Out Of Office' Auto Replies


11. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

10. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
anything at all.

9. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain
removed so that I may be promoted to upper management.

8. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless e-mails you
send me until I return from vacation on 01/05. Please be patient and
your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

7. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in
your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
try sending again. (the beauty of this is that when your return, you
can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

5. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.

4. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response.

3. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother
to leave me any messages.

2. I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE!!

1. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Loretta" instead of
"Steve".

Hey TQ! That was hilarious. I'm working on getting to SP soon so I can get our stand running! Hopefully I'll get at least a long weekend in before Christmas! Congrats again, on the Astros!

oooooo when before Christmas, perhaps during Jazz Fest??

Go Astros!!!

toooooooooo funny, one of the best email forwards ever.

OMG, I needed a good laugh this morning! This did it!

Thanks travelqueen

Blond & Football...

Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his Blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

Blond...

I was sitting at the counter in a diner recently,

next to a blond woman who was engrossed in readinng

her newspaper.



I noticed one of the headlines that blared:

"12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." I could see that

she shook her head at the sad news as she read

the article.

Then, suddenly she turned and asked,

"How many is a Brazilian?"

What's In A Name?


A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone.

He approached her and asked her name.

"My name is Carmen," she told him.

"That's a beautiful name," he said. "Did your mother give it to you?"

"No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most in my life -- cars and men."

They continued to talk and finally she asked, "What's your name"?

"Beer Sex,"... he replied

I am looking at these 2 pictures side by side and cannot tell the difference. There is suppose to be 3 things that are different in this pic. Help please!
http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf