Nice translation Tim! Doesn't even have a trace of that Northern MidWest accent
I feel for ya bud, my staff & I get the same kind of questions, albeit a different type of biz, everyday. Years ago I started a noetbook of the "world's stupidest questions"...think about it, there's a book to be done!
If ya havent already done so, make up some FAQs & drop into replies. Saves tons of time.
Room at the inn later this winter?