AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

Many of us remember how on July 20, 1969, commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module Neil Armstrong was the first person to set food on the moon. We heard his words on stepping on the moon.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Some even remember how just before reentering the lander, he made the enigmatic remark,

"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut. However there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" meant, but Armstrong just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question and this time Armstrong finally responded.

Mr. Gorsky had died and Armstrong felt free to at last answer the question.

In 1938 as a kid in a small Midwest town, Armstrong was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball into the Gorsky's yard near the bedroom windows. As Armstrong leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Oh come on! Everyone knows that whole moon landing thing was just a hoax!!!

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place".

At the Psychiatric Hospital Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

From what I have heard Armstrong had a good friend, Manuel Cline, whose wife had grown tired of his sexual advances and performing certain acts of "oral" gratification. She told him she would comply when a man walked on the moon.

As he stepped out of the lunar module onto the moons surface Armstrong's comment was "That's One small step for man, one giant leap for Manny Cline"

Arggggg !

A Greek and an Scotsman were sitting in a Starbuck's cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, 'Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,' arching his eyebrows.


The Scotsman then replies, 'Well... It was the Scots that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.'


The Greek retorts, 'We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.' The Scotsman, nodding in agreement, says, 'Scots were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.'

And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, 'The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!'

The Scotsman replies, 'Indeed, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced it to women.'

skill tests !!!!

http://www.forestryforum.com/gadget1.swf

Newton's cradle And 3rd Law

http://woodgears.ca/eyeball/

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes, but despite being a little flaky at times, the crusty old man was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Now, if this sad tale made you smile for even a brief second, then please rise to the occasion and take the time to pass it on and share your weird sense of humor with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.

THAT was funny Nuts!