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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Applies to all politicians in all countries.

This all makes sense to me; that's why the United States is such a better country than all of those you mentioned.

Fence Test:

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

Lot of truth here!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

Hilarious!!!! Great sense of humour champion!

This is a video of an act called the Ross Sisters from 1944!!

The song they sing is about 45 seconds long (nice harmonics) but what they do next IS...!

(Watch past the first 50-60 seconds, then Whoa! Look Out!)

or

Click your mouse here: 1944 America' Got Talent

Wayyyyyy to much caffeine

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.


'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.


The owner looked at her and said, 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'


The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.


She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, 'New house, new madam.'

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, 'New house, new madam, new girls.'

The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

'Hi Keith'

A lady walks into a pet shop looking for a talking parrot. The owners show her several birds that are way out of his price range until the very last parrot, priced to sell at 50 bucks.

"Why so much less for this bird?" Doesn't he talk?" asks the lady?

"Oh yes, this parrot talks and is in fact, super smart" says the owner "but I'm afraid he curses like a sailor".

"I'll take him" says the lady. Up until this point the bird is silent.

The lady gets the parrot home and speaks to the bird. "Okay Mr. Parrot, I know that you like to curse but I'll not have any of that in my house. Do you understand?"

"[#%!] you" says the parrot, "show me your [#%!]"

With lightning quick reflexes the lady opens the cage door snatches the parrot and promply sticks him in the freezer, the parrot cursing up a storm.

Twenty five minutes later, the lady retrieves the near frozen bird and asks "Now Mr. parrot, do we have an understanding???"

Slowly the bird answers, his beak chattering from the cold..."Certainly Madam, I sincerely apologize for the use of profanity, I shall refrain from using that language ever again, but I must ask you one question if I may"

"Go ahead" says the lady, "ask your question..

"What the *&^$ did the turkey say?"




Hey Bing ,, Then if it's so great , ~~~~~~~~~,, Time to learn the wheel/bread dive,, 1946-~..

Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels,and I will lead you to the promised land."

Then about 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the promised land."

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and bankrupted the promised land.

Hey Bing ,, Then if it's so great , ~~~~~~~~~,, Time to learn the wheel/bread dive,, 1946-~..

Compared to Iran, Afganastan, China, North Korea and Cuba not only would I say great, I would say it in the words of my good friend Tony the Tiger; It's GREEEAT!