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Oh no! What have we started?

HOW BAD IS THE ECONOMY ?????





The economy is so bad that...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.


Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,
I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

Just to have ~~ Fun ~~~~~

Emotional Dishwasher

This is a real ad on Craigslist today!


"I've got an emotional dishwasher. It works, but like a teenaged girl, pisses me off more than providing usefulness. Maybe you'll have batter luck. Please take it off my hands. E-mail me for directions to my house. I don't want money for it, in fact, I apologize in advance if you end up taking it. I don't have the heart to toss it because it DOES work, but at the same time, I get an uncanny urge to kick it every time I try to work it.


Location: Diamond Valley (Prescott, PV)
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1905016581"

The old man went to the doctor to get prescription Viagra after that he went to pharmacy to get his drug, He ask the lady at pharmacy please sell me 10 pill's, and cut them into 4 pieces each, The lady reply to the old man that if you take only 1/4 of a pill it will not work for you!! The old man's reply to the lady was ""I don't meant to get it to work,, I only want to extend my range so I don't have to wipe my shoes every time I go ..

A friend of mine just started his own business, manufacturing landmines that
look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says Prophets are going through the roof.

"I didn't slap you, I was high fiving your face"

Great read...nothing like any before this. Take some time & read!

I've received e-mails about the 'year of your birth' before... this one is completely different.


http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/

"When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store
with a dollar, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread,
three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs.

You can't do that now.

Too many security cameras."

The economy is so bad that...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.