AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

Here is another :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ6z3IArINI&feature=fvw

I work on this Stuff.. And would never have it..

PLEASE LEARN HOW TO DRIVE !!
Anyone can drive , have kids , by guns , preach ..

Poor man that was hit , if it was true..
Sorry Rant is not for Jokes

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in East Tennessee?.............Documentaries!

Ha aaaahhhh haha ...sorry that is my best LOL via text...Thanks for the laugh

Real Man

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in
to her most intimate desires. He will make
sure she always feels as though she's the
most beautiful woman in the room and will
enable her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine.

It's wine that does all
that.......

Never mind.

Sandals

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica .
They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and
such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,"'Hey Mann! Come,.come into my shop"'

So the couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some
special sandals I tink you would be interested in.
dey makes you wild at sex.'

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals
after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.

The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'

The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaicans thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming:









'You got dem on de wrong feet!' Mon!!

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'

'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back..'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'

'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''

Chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying"i guess we answered that question"

Sad, but true

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came t o the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By now, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, "Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Metric mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - - all of it!".

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "Son," he said, "that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites."