AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

Thats just plain sick, the most gross thing I have ever seen on this board.

You sound like a Pepsi fan...

More like..... have a Coke and a smile!

Condom Facts History.

In 1872 the Iranians invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Question -

When you apply for Welfare in Pakistan , China , Mexico , or Arab countries, what does that Government give you?
Answer - A map of Canada!

Not the Best , But!!!

VT

how many replays did it take for you to come to that conclusion, E?

I need to look at that again i think i missed something.

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him...You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money! She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then says, Remember that car you promised me? Well I also bought it with the insurance money! Again she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money! Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, Remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes.

I am perplexed that so many of my friends are against a mosque being built near Ground Zero... I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant.
The mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose, that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance within the mosque. We could call the clubs "The Turban Cowboy" and "You Mecca Me So Hot".Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and have an open barbeque with spare ribs as its daily special.
Across the street a very daring lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret" with sexy mannequins in the window modelling the goods.Next door to the lingerie shop, there would be room for an Adult Toy Shop (Koranal Knowledge?), its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store, maybe call it "Mohammered"?

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.