DO you know what happened 160 years ago this fall...back in 1850?
California became a state. The people had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.So basically nothing has changed, except the women had real boobies and the men didn't hold hands....
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."
#6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."
#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
#1 Best Caddy Comment: Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
And the old favourite.....is the one about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole. He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy if he has seen any obvious problems to which the caddy replies. "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club ". The Golfer picks his club up and cleans the club face at which point the caddy says "No, the other end"
Yesterday we brought you part one of 'The Mis-informant,' a series presented by Health Care For America Now to bring attention to the corporate spread of misinformation during election time.
In this episode, Jack Black's undercover mis-informant character Nathan Spewman ends up inadvertently turning an eight-year-old classmate into Glenn Beck. It turns out that all she needed was a Spewman's inspiration, a chalk board, and the ability to associate meaningless words to become a mis-informant herself. Listen to her tell her entire class that President Obama is going to shove beans up everyone's noses if Obamacare isn't repealed, among other things.
20 Unusual Houses That Are Now Tourist Attractions
Which one of us hasn't dreamed of living in a castle, a tree-house or a hobbit hole as a child? Forget childhood, we dream of it still! And though many of us eventually settle for regular (rectangular) homes and condos, some adventurous people out there just go ahead and build what they dream.
Here's our list of some wacky and wonderful abodes from around the world, places where people once lived or still live, and which you can now visit or stay in. Perhaps you'll be inspired to build your own spaceship or shoe house!
I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your will power'
Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex........... Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction ' finish off on her face ' didn't mean ' What I thought it did '
A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time, she said ' sorry about the wait ' I said ' don't worry lard ass , you're bound to lose it eventually '
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'
I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
Years ago it was suggested ' that an apple a day kept the doctor away ' But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently, "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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