AmbergrisCaye.com Home Forums Talk Belize Chat Area Smiles for the day

.

6 times is too much effort for me trying to post a picture.

In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of
the goat first.

Field Marshal Montgomery while stationed in Northern Libya during the second world war asked the Sgt. Major just what did the troops do when they felt a little randy. The Sgt. Major replied that they use a camel, to which Monty replied "I'm feeling a bit randy myself this am, fetch me the camel. The Sgt. Major complied with Monty's order and when the camel was produced ole Monty jumped on it's rear end and started giving it for god and country, after he was finished he wiped his brow and asked the Sgt. Major "Is that how the lads do it" to which the Sgt. Major replied "No Sir, they usually ride it into town to the brothel.

Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months.

The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food.

Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.

One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction."

The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "You're hallucinating, You've finally lost your mind."

But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunningly beautiful woman, face up, totally naked, unconscious.

The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing.

One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman.

It's been such a long, long time, So � do you think we should � well � you know � screw her?"

"Out of WHAT?" asked the other.

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says,
"I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says,
"That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

One bitterly cold winter's day a policeman came across a motorcyclist, who was swathed in layers of protective clothing, winter clothing, and helmet, stalled by the roadside.

"What's the matter?" asked the policeman.

"Carburetor's frozen." was the terse reply.

"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."

"I can't." said the motorcyclist.

"OK, watch and I'll show you."

The constable lubricated the carburetor, as promised. The bike started and the rider drove off waving.
A few days later, the chief of police received a note of thanks from the father of the motorbike rider.

"On behalf of my daughter, who recently was stranded....."




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seems It must be winter in Some places !!!
VT

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device ... a dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy ... you explain the kids."