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A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The busy flight attendant smiled and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?'

The boy said, 'Yes, she did.'

'Well then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Ask her to explain that to you.'

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and they came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read:"California archaeologists have found traces of a 200 year old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later, "The Redneck Rebel Gazette" in North Carolina reported the following:.........
After digging as deep as 30 feet in a corn field, Bubba Ray Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, North Carolina had already gone wireless.

The Polite Way to Pee


During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked
her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how
would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying:
'That would be rude and impolite�.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said:
'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the
word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good
manners?'

Johnny said:
'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce to you after dinner.'

The teacher fainted.

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Se�ora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."

"The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"

Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Jor hozban did"

Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he???"

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.

"And did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Se�ora...... The gardener did."

Wife: "So how much do you want?"

While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I notified both the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps !

(awaiting Otter's comment)

I don't get it

That's a lot better than what you normally post

Pfffffft !!!