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some dayz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6z72ZT5B7ZI

Wheeeee! Reminds me of a really fun Astroworld ride from the '70s.

I was visiting my son and his wife last weekend, when I asked if him if I could borrow his newspaper.

'This is the 21st century' he said. 'We don't waste our money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.'

I can tell you, that pesky fly never knew what hit it...

Tooo Funny, I laughed so hard I cried......

THE KINGDOM OF THAILAND

I'll bet you never knew this!!!

In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following community ceremony:-

They lay themselves stark naked in a large circle, feet facing inward. A beautiful young naked girl kneels over the ankles of each the men.

She places a blob of honey and various crushed sweet fruits around his navel to attract flies and insects.

(This keeps them off his face during the ceremony)

A specially chosen nubile and very beautiful naked girl then does a sexy and sensuous dance in the center of the circle.

As soon as all the men become fully aroused and develop erections, the kneeling girls then reach over the knees, pull the fully erected penises downwards as much as they can and then on a given signal from the centre dancer release them.

The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their belly buttons.

This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity . . .the man who killed the most flies was elected to the court of the King.

And that folk's is why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0kdBDwNddc&sns=em

A huge muscular man walks into a pub and orders a beer.
The barman can't help but stare because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The barman hands the guy his beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times."One day, " he begins, "I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream."
"No sh*t?" says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
"Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes."
"Keep going!"
"I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, You now have three wishes." I looked down at my scrawny body and said, I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger." She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, What will be your second wish?'"
"What next?" begged the barman.
"I looked at her beautiful body and replied, I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We screwed away by that stream for hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other she whispered into my ear, You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?'
I looked at her and replied, How about a little head ?

Airport Screening Results:


July Statistics On Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:

Terrorists Discovered
0

Transvestites
133

Hernias
1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases
3,172

Enlarged Prostates
8,249

Breast Implants
59,350

Natural Blondes
3

It was also discovered that 535 members of Congress had no balls.

My inconclusive travel plans for 2012 because I can no longer take the political ads and debate on the health care law:

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone.
You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on
physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and
pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

LOVE IT !