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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,701
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and Bings on mine...sheesh you just never know!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,641
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 13,675
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,701
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wish I had all that hair! (and teeth)
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,000
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The Presidential election 2012 was too close to call. Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.
The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.
It was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.
After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin .
There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.
At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.
Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, the democrats got together secretly and said, "I think that Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow don't bother fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'
The next night (after Mitt returns with 50 fish), the democrats got together for the report of how the republicans were cheating.
Obama said, "You are not going to believe this, he's cutting holes in the ice."
Jim Formerly from somewhere on a beach in Belize
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 6,267
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A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 993
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wish I had all that hair! (and teeth) And Brains....
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 7,051
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OP
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Doctors vs. Gun Owners Doctors
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is
700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are
120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is
0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is
80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is
1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is
.0000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Therefore , 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT
Almost everyone has at least one doctor. This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends
to this
alarming threat.
We must ban doctors
before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Out of concern for the public at large,
We withheld the statistics on
lawyers
for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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NEW WORD FOR THE DAY.
Exhaustipated: Just too tired to give a shit.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 329
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I love it, that explains my mood perfectly. Kat
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