The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news.
> You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
>
> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
> waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
>
> "Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
> celebrate
> when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have
> cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini."
>
> After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
> were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by
> some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
> celebrating.
>
> The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. I've
> been diagnosed with AIDS.. The friends were aghast, gave the woman their
> condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
>
> After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
> "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told
> your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??"
>
> "Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
> after I'm gone." said the woman.
>
> And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs in Order'.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol